Using Hospice Care
When A Loved One Is Terminally Ill             

Many people, while taking care of a terminally ill loved one, attempt complicated hospital care in the home setting.  These well meaning care-givers wear themselves out trying to be nurse, cook, cleaner, companion, child, or grand-child.  Just because a family is close does not mean they can cope by themselves with the physical strain and roller-coaster emotions of caring for a terminally ill loved one. 

Learn about hospice.  Hospice provides care and support for terminally ill persons of all ages, and their families, so that the dying person can live as fully and comfortably as possible. An affirmation of life, it enables people to live until they die, and their families to live with them as they are dying - and to go on living afterward.  Hospice regards dying as part f the natural flow of life.  It borrows its name from travelers' havens during the Middle Ages: hospice is the final way station on the pilgrimage from life to death.
     Hospice is a way of caring, not a specific place.  The patient and family are viewed as the focus of care, and family members are urged to help with the patient's care as much as possible.  The hospice team emphasis in on caring rather than curing.  They work on alleviating pain and other physical symptoms of a disease and train the family to care for their loved one.

Accept that you need help.  As much as you may want to, you can't be all things to your dying loved one.  Your loved one would not want you to deprive yourself of sleep and wear yourself down emotionally, trying bravely to face the day as if you weren't hurting.  One study done for a hospice indicated that "the family member carrying the burden of care suffers more anxiety, depression, and social malfunctioning than the patient."
     Hospice staff members lend support to the family before, during, and after the death.  Through bereavement follow-up, they help the family embers cope with their loss.
     According to the National Hospice and palliative Care Organization, "the perception that 'nothing more can be done' has often had a devastating effect on both patients and families.  But even though the disease may be incurable, much more can be done to ease the pain and suffering of the patient and at the same time involve family members in the patient's care."

Consider the needs of the whole person and family.  Every human being is a composite of physical, social, psychological, and spiritual elements.  A terminally ill person is not their disease; rather, that illness is part of the entire spectrum of that person's life.  Hospice treats the whole person through an interdisciplinary team of professionals who help the family provide care at home or in a hospice setting.
     Your loved one's doctor will work with a hospice nurses, a social worker, therapists, clergy, volunteers and other specialists.  You will be able to reach a nurse 24 hours a day, seven days a week and will have access to inpatient services if needed.
     The holistic approach is especially helpful in tending to the spiritual needs of the ill person and the family at such a faith-testing time.  Working with the hospice team, the family's own minister, priest, or rabbi - or the hospice clergy -  can discuss with the person concerns he or she might have (such as fears about the afterlife or anger at God).  the clergyperson can guide the patient in making peace with his or her life, pray with him or her, administer the sacraments, and celebrate liturgies. 

Assess your priorities.  Hospice doesn't force its philosophy on others; it enters the situation when and how the terminally ill person and family request.  People with terminal illnesses are as diverse in their values and lifestyles as any other group of people.  Their physical, spiritual, and emotional needs remain unique throughout this final phase.  Hospice encourages the patient and family to express priorities so that the plan of care will meet their individual needs.  The ill person and the family remain involved in all decision-making.
     When family members cannot provide as much care as may be needed at certain times, hospice personnel will try to meet the patient's needs by exploring other options.  If the patient has no relatives who are able to be primary caregivers, the hospice team will attempt to identify and train the patient's neighbors, friends, or other community volunteers.
     Financial concerns can often intrude as family and friends are struggling to care of a dying person.  Every patient is accepted into hospice regardless of their ability to pay.  If the hospice program is Medicare-certified, hospice care is insured by the Medicare Hospice Benefit.  Hospice is also an optional benefit under Medicaid and is covered by many private insurance companies. 

Death does not take away the wonderful memory of a loved one's life.  Watching a person you love die is never easy.  But knowing that your loved one can live those last months, weeks and days in dignity and comfort, and that you will be able to care compassionately for your loved one within the circle of your family, will be a great solace to you.  As you escort your loved one through this final passage, may hospice help you face your farewells in peace and hope.
    

              Always consult with a medical professional before taking  any medication.

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